Weddings

with all best wishes from friends and family

I look forward to wedding season. Not that we get invited to many weddings- in fact we don’t get invited to many weddings! But its good fun to be invited to one- especially one where you don’t know anyone.

For those from far off shores reading this (who knows with time how far my fame will spread!), here in India its common to get invited to a wedding where you don’t know anyone. That’s because the guest list at a wedding serves many purposes, besides the most obvious one of inviting friends and family. It can variously be one way of paying back the debt of having eaten many dinners at other people’s weddings, or showing off to everyone how important you are by inviting a whole lot of people, or even putting the poor girl’s parents ( who are mostly paying for the do) in their place by calling the world and its uncle just to show them who’s boss- so there!

When we get invited to a wedding where we don’t know anyone it’s difficult to tell which purpose we are serving- but who cares? When there’s free food- to mix my metaphors- why look a gift horse in the mouth?

I like to look at the wedding invite- it tells you a lot. First of all, its important to see who’s invited you- no one less than the patriarch will do. If it’s one of those modern invites where the parents- or heaven forbid- the couple themselves are inviting you, then there is reason to worry- there may not be Gulab Jamun for desert; instead they may have some new-fangled cheesecake or something similar. Then look out for who is sending you best wishes- this is normally at the bottom of the card. If it’s all friends and family, rest easy. All will be well, there will be good snacks, and probably multiple deserts. Also look at the overall card- if its cream with red writing, a small Ganesh motif on the front, and maybe a tassel or two, you know you’re in for some good hospitality.

Hospitality reminds me. When I was in college in Bombay (yes it was Bombay then), there was a hall next to our hostel which the college used to give out for weddings. Many a day did we discuss wearing some decent clothes and shoes and landing up for the wedding feast. We would have got some great food, and who would have dared questioned our presence? Both the girl’s and the boy’s side would have kept quiet for fear of offending the other- we would have eaten cake while they walked on eggshells (sorry- couldn’t resist that!). it would have been perfect- if only we had the courage to do it!

I like weddings where I don’t know anyone for another reason- nobody is bothered with what you wear. You can’t land up in shorts of course, but you don’t have to wear anything fancy. Office clothes will do quite nicely, and if it’s winter, throw on a blazer. You don’t even need a tie! Then when you turn up at the wedding, your obligations are minimal. Make you way onto the podium, deposit your gift with the couple (because no one knows you, what does it matter what you give them?), grin and get a photo taken, and that's it! Find yourself a comfortable table, and let the feasting begin! And when you’re done, make your way out, efficiently and easily. No wasting time saying goodbye to the host, or wasting even more time trying to find the host to say goodbye to! Easy-peasy, and on to the next one!